(can't quite believe I did this! - gakked from nemo_gravis)

To explain - a little while back nemo_gravis responded to the 70 Questions meme as if he was Xander. Others have now done the same for other characters - the complete list (so far!) is here

To: watcher007@rwc.org
From: notamushroom@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Questionnaire
______________________

1. DO YOU SNORE?

No! Of course not! Not that there’s anything wrong with snoring or anything, it’s just – who has time for sleep? Certainly not me anyway, I’m far too busy for that. My work is my life.
 
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?

Um… I’m more a stander-on-the-sidelines? I mean, I won’t *not* fight, it’s just… I’m better at making sure other people have what they need so that they can do what needs to be done. Besides, I’d probably be more of a hindrance than a help a lot of the time – and as for the other part of the question…

I don’t think I want to answer this anymore.
 
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?

… I’d rather not say.
 
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?

Yeah! I have this life size model of Boba Fett that I’m working on, it’s really hard to get the right colorings for the armour and the jet pack antenna is proving tricky. Wait, why does that question say ‘as a kid’?
 
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?

I love it! No, wait, it’s degrading to the participants and programmers alike. Is that right?
 
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?

Yes, all the time. Why?
 
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?

My mom always said so; she used to enter me in those ‘beautiful baby’ contests all the time. But then this one time my brother got jealous and he ruined all the outfits she had for me and she had to put me in a dress for the final round. It was a pretty trophy – she kept it in the display case for years.
 
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?

Alas, the single life is the destiny of everyone called to this way of life. It’s a cross we must bear. Isn’t it?
 
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?

Black. It’s cordless too.

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?

Isn’t that a little personal? I mean, suppose I say yes, what does that really tell you?
 
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?

No! I get swimmer’s ear. Besides, it's really dangerous.

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?

I like to think I can see things going on that other people have missed. I can blend in because people just ignore me and they’ll talk about things that they wouldn’t if they thought someone was listening.

Oh – by the way, if you happen to be talking to Xander Harris soon, could you pass on the message that there’s no need to search through the sewers for a nest of ‘Ordure’ demons (I think that’s what he said they were called). I overheard him planning it and took it upon myself to save him the trouble. Incidentally, does the Council have a budget set aside for replacement clothing yet?

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?

Vacation? Who has time for vacations?
 
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?

I don’t get him. So no.
 
15. CAN YOU SWIM?

No, I’ve always admired the swim team though.

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?

Of course I have! Why? Does it have some kind of relevance to an upcoming threat? I can watch it again if you need me to – for research of course.

17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?

The what? Is that one of the demons in volume two? I’ve only made it halfway through volume one so far.
 
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?

Um… why is this question here? Some of these seem just a little too strange to be on a psych test. Is this some kind of joke or something?
 
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?

Yes. Can’t everyone? Although I admit it gets a little tricky aroung the L - K - J - I part.
 
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?

This is a trick question isn’t it? Are these being put in here so that you can test if it’s really me or something? The answer – yes, of course I have.

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?

I think you might be the first person to ask me that. Do you know that people who are halfway around the world and have never met me before still call me ‘Tucker’s brother’?
 
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?

Electric ones make a cool noise!

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?

Hunting? As in animals? It’s hard. I don’t like it.
 
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?

Haven’t I answered this already? This life is a solitary one. Isn’t it?
 
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

No. It never looks like what it’s supposed to look like.

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?

Penicillin, nuts, some citrus fruits, shellfish – oh and apparently tweed as well. I can forward on my medical records if you need them?

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?


28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?

There are a lot of interesting theories about this but since most of them are catalogued in the Council library then I expect you’re actually asking whether *I* think so. I don’t listen to people other people think are dead. Not anymore anyway.

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?

Yes. Um… No.

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?

Eggs Florentine, with fresh spinach – not frozen – and smooth orange juice.
 
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?

If you knew some of the blondes I’ve met you wouldn’t be asking that. Wait a minute, don’t you know all the blondes I’ve met? This is another trick question isn’t it?
 
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?

The Eater of Socks takes them. I thought you’d read Terry Pratchett?

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?

3.15pm. Is that important? Will it count against me that I’m filling in this evaluation during office hours?

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?

I did have but I’m not going to share it. I don’t have one now, at least I don’t think I do. Do I?
 
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?

It’s the epitome of Americanisation which, having travelled so widely now, I’m coming to see is a tragedy that is spreading so far and wide. But they have this McChicken Premier thing that is really good!
 
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?

I don’t drive and I don’t like to ask other people. I was in a cab from the airport the other day though. Just me.

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?

Baths. Why?
 
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?

Anya always said so and why would she lie? She was a wonderful woman.
 
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?

Um… I’d rather not answer that.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?

It’s something I’m willing to overcome if the situation demands it.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?

Addictions? I don’t know if I have any – nothing really comes to mind.
 
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?

Creamy of course, all the little bits get stuck in my teeth and it makes me sick.
 
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?

No, sounds dangerous.
 
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?

I’m going to attach my medical records because it really does seem like you’ve lost them. Has there been some kind of infiltration of the Council offices that I should worry about?
 
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?

Twice – but why is that important?
 
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?

Absolutely. Unless… No, drug free all the way!
 
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?

Not anymore.
 
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?

Blue. No, wait ‘steel grey’ always sounds better doesn’t it?
 
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?

My life is my work.
 
51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?

No. Well… no.
 
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?

I knew you were going to ask that!
No.
 
53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?

Yes. I didn’t get it.
 
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?

No. I tried to learn the guitar once, but it was hard and I gave up.
 
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?

In my dark past, when I was corrupted by men far more powerful than I, I’m ashamed to say that yes. My police records should be with my personnel file – do you need me to send you another copy?
 
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?

No, but it looks like fun when other people do it. I’d probably fall and injure myself though.

57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?

The rugged outdoor life? It’s so romantic. But there’s bugs out there.

58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?

I don’t laugh. Not anymore.
 
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

Magic surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the universe together.
 
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?

No. They bite and are mean.
 
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?

Mom got a divorce from my father and she was much better off that way so yes, divorce works.
 
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?

No, my ankles are too weak for that.
 
63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?

I said I’d send you my police files and medical records didn’t I?
 
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?

It’s always cold.
 
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

Bannoffee pie – there’s this really nice little café just across the road from my ‘flat’ and they make some really nice cakes and pies.
 
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?

No. Although I saw Spike wear black nail polish once and thought it looked really cool.
 
67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?

I don’t want to answer this.

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?

I don’t have time to watch commercials any more.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?

Now I’m in London I try to shop at Harrods.

Incidentally, have the new batch of credit cards arrived yet?
 
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?

I don’t really listen to music now, it’s too much of a distraction really. If I *had* to give an answer though, I’d probably say Black Eyed Peas, but only if you really need an answer.

I hope this is what you were looking for, I’m always eager to help in any way I can and of course if you need any help going through other people’s answers you know how discrete I can be.

Andrew