yeah... sorry about that. I'm not all the way better yet, but I've eaten and slept for around fourteen hours (and given that it's still before nine on a Sunday morning you can see my sleep pattern's fucked up again). So that's got to be a good thing.

Depression is a (pardon the pun) funny thing. There are days when I'm absolutely fine, snarky yes but that's just me, days when I'm incredibly hyper and productive. Then there are days when I think I'm depressed but still functioning, and then there are days like yesterday when I can't stop crying and the paranoia & extreme low self-confidence come crashing down to the extent where I can't do anything. At all.

It's like being a yo-yo. Up, down, tangled up somewhere in the middle... This is not the way to get healthy.

I'm getting there, the fact that I'm sitting typing this and listening to non-morbid chunes is a good thing, the fact that I can't currently do anything creative because of the low self-esteem thing sucks. Especially since I have two LIMS contests to enter in the next couple of days and I'm still at the stage of shutting down Photoshop without saving anything because I think everything sucks (I do this a lot more than I let on by the way...) so I guess I'll just have to take it easy and see what happens.

I know I don't suck, hell in one of my moments of having to prove to myself I could do something, I made an animated icon of the SPN s2 logo yesterday which is kinda mesmerising and I'm going to use for this post I think, but my brain just doesn't quite believe me right now.